Yoga with Adriene and Chill?

I was going to try and think of some witty opener to this post, but screw it. Let's get right to it. (Real quick can we talk about how I am a queen at rhyming?)

Break-ups suck. Like "stick that in your juice box and suck it" sucks.

All the sudden you can't text your "sig oth" (see one of my favorite webpages ever for noun reference) to say hi or even just to tell them that you had the best coffee ever this morning or to talk about the seriousness of how cute I looked today or how cute a baby polar bear is. It's like WTF who am I supposed to tell these ultra important things to now?!

(I would quickly like to mention that this post is dedicated to those who have put up with my awful attitude the past couple of weeks because holy cow have I been a miserable whiney mess. I would like to personally thank Caoilfhionn, Meg, and my mom for dealing with me during this time, along with Adriene my personal YouTube yoga instructor, Andrew Bird, and Beyonce along with He-Dylan for the creation of this post title.)

Y'all are the #realMVP's.

For now though, I'm doing a lot better and that's what I want to talk about. 

When it comes to advice in this kind of situation people will almost always say "omg it's like all about your attitude like" and "just don't focus on it." 

Um okay, sorry I'm not Spock and can't compartmentalize/ not have emotions. 

It's the last thing you want to hear, but to be honest, they're right. 

Maybe it's not a breakup that has you feeling like a soggy loaf of bread (this is a real feeling I swear. Imagine a loaf of bread soaked in water and how heavy and sad it looks. (Told you.)) Maybe it's being overwhelmed with homework, hating your job, or people just being idiots in general. 

And I want to note that it's totally okay to be sad and feel feelings for awhile and want to sit in bed and watch all four seasons of NewGirl while eating an entire pint of dairy-free ice cream with a side of salt and vinegar chips. It's also okay to want to cry. Or to want to quit everything you are doing so you can become a full-time brownie baker. Or adopt eight cats. 

#youdoyou

But indulge in that for too long and you will find yourself down in the bottom of an isolated pit that you won't have the energy to climb back out of. It's kind of dark and sad down there, and also pretty lonely and non-productive. 

That's when "those people's" advice comes in. 

There's going to come a moment when you start realizing how whiney and negative you've been and you're going to start feeling guilty because actually your life is pretty great. 

That moment came to me last night after I went and saw the play "You Can't Take it with You" that was performed by the performing arts students at my university. It's a depression-era comedy whose theme is that your quality of life is ultimately what you make of your situation. All it took was the first act and

BOOM

I WAS AWAKENED. 

"Hey remember how you were just awarded for being a pretty alright student?"

"Hey remember how you could potentially be going to grad school?"

"Hey remember how there are a bunch of job opportunities you are applying for all over the US?"

"Hey remember how you graduate in May and are going to New York?"

"Hey remember how you are pretty damn healthy and have great friends?"

"HUH. INTERESTING."

And then realized that things are probably going to work out how they are supposed to. 

Weird how much less difficult life is when that happens. 

And now I'm at Starbucks doing homework/writing this blog post/researching cute valentines because VALENTINES AREN'T JUST FOR ELEMENTARY SCHOOLERS.

Life is pretty great. 

Maybe it's just today, and I'll be a will be a hot mess again tomorrow, and regret writing this for fear of being a hypocrite, but for now I'm doing good. And that's good. 

And I bet if you are in a slump and take a couple minutes to write down the cool stuff you've got going for you, even if it's simply the fact you've got great hair or ice cream in your freezer, that your day will get at least 3% better. 

But what do I know. 

I sure hope you have a #hellaswella Sunday and that you know things are gonna be O-K. 

(p.s. if you could please help make that hashtag trend it would mean a lot.)

xoxo

Dyl

STIR THE DAMN POT

Once again I am finding myself at the local coffee shop during a storm and writing.

I think it's a mood thing, not as in "OMG I'm super broody and emotional therefore I'm a writer" type mood thing, but rather the idea of being in a warm and friendly coffee shop with a warm cup of coffee to my left has set the proper mood for me to write.

At least I think so.

And maybe this post will be of no use to anyone, especially because I'm not feeling very clever. But I am feeling introspective and feel like sharing. So there.

#deep

Considering all the absolutely unbelievable things going on in our world currently (bombings in Paris, Beirut, and Baghdad, earthquakes in Japan and Mexico, the LDS faith more creating "a new policy in place that states Mormons in same-sex marriages or similar relationships must face disciplinary councils — and possible excommunication — and that their children generally must wait until they turn 18 to be baptized into the faith.")  I think it is important to take a moment to take a deep breath and analyze for yourself these current events. 

Quite frankly not just in times of crisis, but ya gotta start somewhere. 

What I'm asking is for you not to "bandwagon" or pretend like nothing is going on. Take a minute to find out what is going on around the world, and take the proper steps you need to move forward. 

If that's involves a Facebook rant, fine. But promise me you will take even just a single moment to analyze with your own brain. I think too often we side with the opinions of those we know because of convenience and not wanting to stir the pot. 

PLEASE JUST STIR THE DAMN POT. 

I would rather hear original fresh ideas, opinions, and creativity, even if those opinions are different than mine than hear the same words repeated over and over.

Now you may find yourself saying, "But Dylan, not all ideas can be unique and original like you, some people will have similar opinions so don't be a pretentious kitten." and I understand that. I do. But I do believe that people don't think the exact same way as each other unless our population is 98% robot and I am the last one to figure that out. 

#010001010101011101010000101010101010110010101

(LOL robots)

Maybe you sharing your opinions simply includes you helping a stranger making a decision on a casserole dish, like the kind lady at Walmart who helped improve my thoughts on humanity as a whole (not even being facetious.) Here was our conversation:

Lady (picking up a white oblong ceramic casserole dish): Is this a nice casserole dish? My granddaughter wants to make casserole, which I don't really understand why, but this looks like a nice one. What do you think?

Me : That is a nice casserole dish, and I hear ceramic lasts longer. 

Lady: I thought I heard that too! Okay so I'm not crazy. I figure, invest in a nice one that doesn't scratch. I hate when my pots and pans are scratched. 

Me: Yeah, I think that will be a great choice. I think she'll really like it! And it's white so it will go with everything. (In my mind I was thinking "Like meat, beans, noodles, all neutrals and will work with white quite nicely.)

Lady: Well thank you for your help. And have a Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays since I probably won't see you before then. 

Me (astounded at how thoughtful this lady was in considering me to wish a happy holiday): Well thank you! And I hope you have a Happy Holiday as well. 

Moral of this story: start somewhere. 

If someone asks for your opinion, give it. If you feel like your opinion is important (which you should,) give it. Even if you think someone won't appreciate it, speak YOUR mind. Give and share your opinions because it just may help encourage and solidify others opinions along the way, even if it solidifies the fact that they think you are batshit crazy. 

I hope you have an "insightful" Monday, and are staying warm wherever you are. 

You are important, you matter, and you can make a difference, even if it is small.

xoxo
Dylan

Meet the Queen

Holler for a dollar it's been about eight years since I've written on this thing and I make zero promises of being consistent. I'm just currently at a coffee shop while it's raining and I'm like, "OMG I feel so hip, I should write a blog post to coincide!"

I feel, therefore, I am.
-Rene Descarte/Dylan Lowe

So here I am. Sippin' on a Soy Chai listening to "Indie Brunch" on Spotify at 5pm.

It's casual.

But I promise to make your time spent reading worth it.

Correction: I will try to make your time spent reading this worth it.

And so begins what I actually want to talk about.

Drum roll please...

I am the Queen of Panic Attacks!

Me! Dylan Lowe!

I know, I know, some of you may have heard of me, The Queen, but I figured now was as good a time as any to go completely public about it. I hope none of your are in too severe shock like when I found out Hannah Montana was actually just a regular girl named Miley Cyrus, or when I learned"Brunch" was a combination of "Breakfast" and "Lunch" but more on that later.

How did I get my title?

Lemme tell you. I get nervous over legitimately the most ridiculous things you can think of, including things that should be FUN. FUN I TELL YOU!

Let me quickly provide you with a few examples to back it up:

Being late to lunch dates, work, and class aka: just being late in general, getting stuck in traffic, finishing an assignment before my classmates, being the last of my classmates to finish an assignment, my hair not drying, my nails not being perfectly even, feeling weird in the outfit I chose to wear, wether or not I should have said "Hi" to the stranger I walked past, wether or not my awkward eye contact with said stranger made them uncomfortable, seeing people I know in grocery stores, skipping songs on playlists people make me, learning photoshop, making time to write, driving too much, and then the list of random symptoms from Crohn's.

And that's the short list.

WOO!

I hear the first step of therapy is recognizing you have a problem, but um, yeah I've recognized I've had a problem since seventh grade. I think the difference now is that I am twenty-two and should be able to figure out ways to handle said stress like a semi-functioning adult.

Does saying it out loud over internet qualify as admitting to it?

MY NAME IS DYLAN AND I AM A SEMI-FUNCTIONING STRESS CASE.

Feels real enough.

I am slowly but surely making leaps and bounds in being less stress-y, but yeah emphasis on the slowly part because it's taking freaking decades.

I'm not going to call it "admitting" because I feel like that involves doing something wrong, rather I am going to tell you, as a cute and sassy gal-pal, that I have been seeing someone to help me deal with my anxiety because feeling isolated from it has been not so hot for my mental well-being.

HOLY COW has it done wonders. (Shoutout to maboi Nick!)

I'm now able to recognize that I need to stop and breathe for approximately one-two minutes when my mind starts going into overdrive like a possessed she-blender, that omg, everything isn't my fault?!, and that I'm doing my best and I'm still a good person even if it doesn't turn out how I thought it would.

Can we all take a huge sigh of relief in honor of the weight I have been lifting off of my own shoulders the past few weeks?

Maybe I'm the only one dealing with this, and hey that's cool. I'm fine sharing this weird part of my brain with you because hi, my name is Dylan and it's a part of who I am. And who knows, maybe there are more of my friends out there who are dealing with the same weird stuff (if so can we please discuss our stresses and stress relief techniques over coffee sometime and be real-life friends because that would be totes fab.) My hope is that this small mental-barf that just occurred all over this page will contribute to the discussion that has been happening lately about depression and anxiety. It's a subject I feel we need to bring up more often so we can help each other out, because to me, that's what life is about.

Hashtag rhyme.

Hashtag mic drop.

Y'all are peaches.

Dyl

ZERO RESOLUTIONS 2015

 You heard it here first ladies and gents,

I don't believe in resolutions. 

Maybe it's because when I try to set them, they end up something along the lines of:

"Go to the gym, like, 8x a week."
"Become a vegan."
"Eat no sugar ever."
"Become a professional college blogger."
"Cook semi-real food."

And my personal favorite:
"Be more granola."

I kid you not these are actual resolutions from previous years. 

I don't think I really understood how to make successful goals for myself... with like a plan...

But whatever. I still don't believe in them. 

I don't believe in completely starting over just because it's a new year. 

To me it's setting myself up for disappointment. Extremely equivalent to a jerk opening a giant box of office supplies in front of my face and telling me I can't have any, not even an eraser, to accidentally buying gluten-full cookies that you thought were gluten-free, or worse, ordering a grande skinny vanilla late with soy milk that ends up NOT BEING SOY. 

I'M TALKING REAL DISAPPOINTMENT PEOPLE.  

I think it's my personality that hates them because I tend to be a perfectionist. 

SURPRISE I KNOW. 

I have a hard time asking for help, going to the gym consistently, and not eating sugar. I get waaaaaay too stressed over silly things (just ask my mom) and don't spend my money wisely. I'm a pinterestaholic who love love looooooves coffee. I wan't a little black kitten. (Okay, that's not so much an imperfection as it is a fact. Just thought you should know I want one.)

Now to all my fans, I know I know, you are surprised I am human. I get it. But it's time you heard the truth. 

Bring it in everyone. Let's hug it out.

I think more important than resolutions are reminders. 

Reminders to remind me that:

1. Life can be hard, but you'll get through it. 
2. You are doing your best. 
3. You shouldn't be so hard on yourself.
4. You can handle anything anyone or situation throws at you because you are a bad ass. 

With these there is zero pressure, and a huge opportunity for growth. 

Which is what I need because I'm a recovering stress case. 

*can I get an amen emoji here*

Maybe resolutions work for you, and more power to you. 

You gotta do you baby. 

But if I can help one person, even if it's just myself, learn to take things as they come and be patient, I think I've done my non-official job. Because I officially work at a pizza place and I don't think self-betterment is on the menu.

Hope your new year is off to a great start. Because guess what?

You deserve it. 

Peace and blessings peaches.

Dylan

Christmas Time!

Hello loves! 

Christmas is coming soon and I may be biased, but I think that a watercolor portrait would be a fabulous idea!

Because who doesn't like having watercolor portraits of themselves to cherish and pass down to future generations? Just saying.

I recently had the opportunity to paint my fabulous photographer friend Sophie and her family, and can I just say that they are some of my most favorite ones to date? I would highly recommend checking out her website. You'll understand why I loved painting for her so much.  

Like seriously.

I am in love. 

So as I was saying before, if you also think watercolor portraits make good Christmas gifts, head over to my Etsy Shop and place an order under commission. 

I also want to say a quick thank you to all of the fabulous people in my life who basically support me in everything I do, wether it be Insta posts or my artwork.

You are the true peaches.

xoxo

TUESDAY

If you are anything like me, you have a serious case of the Tuesday Screwits, whether it be you being positive your phone will never be fixed, or you being dead tired, or your cat having an asthma attack. 

So here is a little musical fusion if you will, to give your afternoon a little pick-me-up. 

I think I'll call it TUESDAY. 

Ya dig?

If this doesn't do the trick, just remember, 

Word up.

xoxo

Staycay with Bai 2k...14

You heard it here first folks, Staycay with Bai 2k...14 was a SUCCESS.

We made a pact to make Fall Break a hoot and a half, specifically because we were staying in town. 

So we made a list.

Because that's what we do. 

And it ended up looking like this: 

Pay no mind to today's date... awkward. 

Walk in the funky alleys was my idea, just FYI.

Anyways, adventures included, but were not limited to:

 1. Eating waffles.

2. Chatting with some 8th graders in a parking garage (not a drug deal, promise.)

Aliases for Fall Break

3. Exploring Enoch... yeahhh. 
4. Chillin at the city 'brary and enjoying completely real Native American artifacts. They're really real. 

Cedar's Native American Rock Paintings. They're real. 

ERMAGERD BERKS

5. Gettin' our read on at The Grind.

Which then turned into:

6. Going to St. George.
7. Running through sprinklers at 11 pm.
8. Making Peanut Butter Cap'n Crunch Rice Krispies. (UM YUM.)
9. Hangin at Grams and Gramps storage unit.
10. Trying on thousands of Lindy's hats. 
11. Organizing our lives. 

And then progressed in an upwards fashion to:

12. OOTD'S OBVIII

WHAT THE HELL IS AN OOOHTID. 

13. Discovering thee most simple and delicious way to make Pumpkin Chocolate Chip cookies. 

Do ya got a Bai? Or nah?

14. Late afternoon strolls around the city, only to end up at the University. 

Campus is aight.

15. And designing. LOTS and LOTS of designing. 

I think you could say Fall Break was pretty dece. 

AMIRITE BAI.

Hope you had a good break too. 

Y'all are peaches!
Dylan

SLC 2014

HELLO.

and welcome! 

To Dylan Lowe's love story with Salt Lake.

*heart eye emoji x 10000 here*

I had no idea how cool Salt Lake was until last week and I have lived there my whole life.

Like doubleyew-tee-eff.

I traveled up north with some fellow Graphic Design students to check out design firms and studios as part of SLC Design Week, and if I didn't think heaven existed before, I sure do now. 

Let's just start with the fact that I drove around Downtown in Utah's version of a Double Decker tour bus for three and a half hours with a bunch of hipsters. 

#UHHUH

Selfie. Obvi.

THE crew.

We checked out a dozen different studios including Super Top Secret, Struck, and MRM//McCann just to name a few. I wish I would have taken photos, but I honestly was too amazed with what I was seeing to even think about taking photos. I only took like three snapchats.

I KNOW. 

SORRY.

I WAS LIVING IN THE MOMENT OK. 

Eating all the weird hipster food, collecting business cards and stickers, and conversing with drunk comrades.

I even got to eat gluten-free pasta! 

SAY WHAT!

I know. I know.

It was seriously the most fun thing I have done in like... two months. 

Homies on HOMIES

This quick lil' trip solidified the fact that I am doing exactly what I should be, and got me super stoked for my graphic design career. 

Guess I'll graduate after all...

WOOF.

SLC 2016 BABY.

Here I come. 

xoxo

Dylan

WOOF

So little time, so many things to catch up on.

Which is why I think that I thought wearing leggings as pants today was acceptable...

I mean they are the classy kind with wool on the inside to keep your legs warm, so I mean they have that going for them. 

#lifedecisions amirite?

Whatever. 

This morning was super productive which came as a shock to me and probably anyone that knows me. 

Mornings are NOT my thing. 

Ask my family. They dare each other to wake me up in the morning when I'm home because I'm a freakin' bear before 10 o'clock AM and that's a fact. I could strike fear in the heart of Genghis Khan if he was still alive and lived in America... yep.

But not this morning (!) thanks to my new IV infusions I get every-so-often. I awake the next morning metamorphosed into a beautiful productive butterfly. It's wonderful. I went to the gym, got myself a coffee, ate SALAD, washed my sheets, took a shower, got my hair trimmed, scored some free concert posters, and did everything except my homework.

Which is obviously why I'm writing this because the last thing that sounds fun right now is studying Roman and Indian art and recreating a master drawing. (jk it's supes fun... ahem*)

Soooooo I guess I could share with you some pictures of my life and my info about my new-ish relationship.

Yep you heard it right

I'm dating.

Dating MYSELF. 

And it's actually way fun... #isthatweird?

I paint and find cool music:

Buy myself flowers:

Third-wheel it and go see AMAZING concerts:

 Buy myself coffee:

And buy myself even more flowers!

Basically I'm perfect for myself!

To all my haterz, it's whatevz. 

I have had so much more time to be creative, read, exercise, find cool music, and just have Dyl time that I haven't had time to worry about you. In a lot of ways I'm a lot happier and I'm not just saying that you naysayer who just said, "You're just saying that!" But there's obviously some work there to do. 

You've probably read thousands of posts like this about "Living in a Utah: Where Everyone Gets Married as Infants" and "OMG I WANT A BOYFRIEND, The Tale of Desperate White Girl," but I don't fall into either of those categories in that in all honesty, I don't know what I want. 

It's a weird "not-quite, not-yet" stage and I'm trying to turn the awkwardness of not knowing where I belong or what I should be doing into something positive. 

So, I'm painting when I feel like it, going to concerts I've been wanting to see forever, buying myself coffee and flowers, and straight chillin' with Dylan. (BOOM)

I'll be real here and say that this semester started a little rocky. Things didn't quite work out how I thought they would in lots of ways and I've felt alone more often than not.  

I'm realizing though that focusing on the negative parts isn't going to do me JACK SQUAT. 

SURPRISE! 

I know, I was just as shocked as you. 

Therefore:

I'm attempting to do this thing called "Move Forward." 

Maybe you've heard of it? 

I've read some studies, and scientologists--I mean scientists, say it's a real thing that you can do, so I figure I'll give it a shot. 

No doubt there will be some difficult days, there is ZERO question about that. I think it will be all about patience and having some understanding for myself. 

So here's to some self-deprication! 

I MEAN SELF-APPRECIATION. 

I'M WAY GOOD AT THIS.

IT'S FINE.

In your best Sarah Mclachlan pets are dying voice: 

If you would like to donate to the positive vibe jar, you can do so on the right.
Any and all donations are appreciated and accepted at this time (because as you can see, it's gonna take some work.) 

Y'all are peaches. 

xoxo

Starbucks and Tattoos

Kinda like snapbacks and tattoos, but WAY better. 
*White girl gang sign here*

8 PM WITH NO HOMEWORK! WOO!  

Which means I'm currently in my room (#yeahcollege) writing this, and am a little upset that I didn't take the opportunity to do so while I was at Starbucks (celebratory "class-is-cancelled" trip.) First because it's raining, and second because what white girl doesn't love a good photo with the sassy green mermaid lady while rain trickles down the window in the background, obvi while flashing the deuces and duck face? 

IF ONLY I HAD CAPTURED IT. 

Because also I'm wearing a sweatshirt that says "I LIKE CATS."

Basically today I'm contributing to World Peace.

#NOSHAME

Really I am not that hard to please... 

Or entertain...

Don't really know if that's good or bad...

I mean if I think about it, all I need to be content is a Grande Italian Roast with soy milk, and sugar free caramel. Oh and don't forget my Macbook Pro, Pinterest, Alt-J, and a graph notebook with my Pilot EasyTouch pen (so help me if you give me a wide-ruled notebook and company writing utensil...) 

I think the only thing that could have made this morning better would have been an attractive semi-hipster man in his mid to late twenties with excellent taste in music and great hair mysteriously showing up at Bucks with french fries and fresh flowers wrapped in kraft paper while simultaneously walking his French Bulldog named Basil. 

Quite frankly I'm surprised this hasn't happened yet.

But whatever.

At least my semester is off to a good start as an official Graphic Design Student!

Two hours of art history + graphic design + typography (aka writing the letter "r" fifty times in different ways) + art insights + graphic design/marketing internship with the school = VICTORY.  

Um, so basically, life is great. 

And that's really what this post boils down to. 

I work my little booty off and am loving (mostly) every minute of it. It think it helps that I live in a cute little house with my main Bai (no, not BAE,) and our room is the cutest little thing west of the Mississippi (Awe!) 

Also my bedspread is white with grey polka dots, and I only changed my outfit ONCE today.

#UHHH!

It's the little things folks.

Hope you have had a Totes Terrif Tuesday. 

You deserve it.

Mwah!

xoxo

P.S. for a highly enjoyable evening, I suggest searching one of the following on Pinterest:

1. Hipster Men
2. Man Scruff
3. Chris Pine

You're welcome. 

Guess Who's Back?

Back again...
LUCY's back. And she has friends! 

Oh haaaay, long time no chat.

I'm currently laying in bed with a knee the size of Earth (ladies and gentlemen meet my new friend Chuck!) and I figured it would be a good time to write a little somethin' somethin' because I just got back from one of the most kick-ass summers of my life.

#nobiggie

Basically I was paid to live in Southern California, hang out with the coolest kids on the planet, hike Yosemite, chill at the beach, visit The Getty, and sit in box seats at a Dodgers game. Oh and don't forget work with some of the most amazing people from all corners of the world.  

#WHATISMYLIFE

#sorrynotsorry for the pic overload. 

Believe me there are like 50 billion more. FIFTY BILLION. So really I'm doing you a favor. 

On a more serious note, it'a hard to put into words how much I have learned and changed in three months, and those who have ever been to camp can testify to that. 

I worked with kids who have been dealing with serious medical conditions their whole lives, and was trusted by their parents to take them for a whole week. 

A WHOLE WEEK. 

As someone who was pretty sick as a kid and knowing how much my parents worried about me, I felt extremely privileged to be able to spend that much time with these kids, and believe me when I say we as a staff made the absolute most of it. We watched them conquer their fears on the ropes course, experienced their first time catching a fish, ate spaghetti with no hands, and watched their eyes light up as they performed at stage night. We witnessed normally shy kids transform into the camp clowns, and the brother and sisterhood that formed between the oldest and youngest campers. 

To say it was magic would be an understatement. 

I worked with an amazing staff who helped each other through difficult times and watched as they grew and changed into even more astounding individuals, and I honestly believe that I made some of the best friends I will ever have. They helped me understand that it's actually okay to be 100% myself all the time (who knew!?), still accepted me at 12 am as I legitimately broke down on the Arts and Crafts floor in a fit of crying/laughter/incoherent sentences, and left me love notes when I was in Quarantine (aka: "The Q") and when Lucy showed up with her resting bitch face and brought her friend Chuck along half way through the summer for the rest of the summer. 

What it all boils down to is that I'm hashtag blessed.

Even though Crohn's is on its way back and things are a little rocky at the moment, knowing I've got some pretty rad people behind me (including you!) is making all the difference. 

#positivevibetribe

Y'all are fabulous.

Until next time, here's some wisdom to carry you through.

Deuces.

"Your best thoughts come to you while you're on the toilet. Because all the crap gets out of ya and you start thinking REAL." -Camper