Meet the Queen

Holler for a dollar it's been about eight years since I've written on this thing and I make zero promises of being consistent. I'm just currently at a coffee shop while it's raining and I'm like, "OMG I feel so hip, I should write a blog post to coincide!"

I feel, therefore, I am.
-Rene Descarte/Dylan Lowe

So here I am. Sippin' on a Soy Chai listening to "Indie Brunch" on Spotify at 5pm.

It's casual.

But I promise to make your time spent reading worth it.

Correction: I will try to make your time spent reading this worth it.

And so begins what I actually want to talk about.

Drum roll please...

I am the Queen of Panic Attacks!

Me! Dylan Lowe!

I know, I know, some of you may have heard of me, The Queen, but I figured now was as good a time as any to go completely public about it. I hope none of your are in too severe shock like when I found out Hannah Montana was actually just a regular girl named Miley Cyrus, or when I learned"Brunch" was a combination of "Breakfast" and "Lunch" but more on that later.

How did I get my title?

Lemme tell you. I get nervous over legitimately the most ridiculous things you can think of, including things that should be FUN. FUN I TELL YOU!

Let me quickly provide you with a few examples to back it up:

Being late to lunch dates, work, and class aka: just being late in general, getting stuck in traffic, finishing an assignment before my classmates, being the last of my classmates to finish an assignment, my hair not drying, my nails not being perfectly even, feeling weird in the outfit I chose to wear, wether or not I should have said "Hi" to the stranger I walked past, wether or not my awkward eye contact with said stranger made them uncomfortable, seeing people I know in grocery stores, skipping songs on playlists people make me, learning photoshop, making time to write, driving too much, and then the list of random symptoms from Crohn's.

And that's the short list.

WOO!

I hear the first step of therapy is recognizing you have a problem, but um, yeah I've recognized I've had a problem since seventh grade. I think the difference now is that I am twenty-two and should be able to figure out ways to handle said stress like a semi-functioning adult.

Does saying it out loud over internet qualify as admitting to it?

MY NAME IS DYLAN AND I AM A SEMI-FUNCTIONING STRESS CASE.

Feels real enough.

I am slowly but surely making leaps and bounds in being less stress-y, but yeah emphasis on the slowly part because it's taking freaking decades.

I'm not going to call it "admitting" because I feel like that involves doing something wrong, rather I am going to tell you, as a cute and sassy gal-pal, that I have been seeing someone to help me deal with my anxiety because feeling isolated from it has been not so hot for my mental well-being.

HOLY COW has it done wonders. (Shoutout to maboi Nick!)

I'm now able to recognize that I need to stop and breathe for approximately one-two minutes when my mind starts going into overdrive like a possessed she-blender, that omg, everything isn't my fault?!, and that I'm doing my best and I'm still a good person even if it doesn't turn out how I thought it would.

Can we all take a huge sigh of relief in honor of the weight I have been lifting off of my own shoulders the past few weeks?

Maybe I'm the only one dealing with this, and hey that's cool. I'm fine sharing this weird part of my brain with you because hi, my name is Dylan and it's a part of who I am. And who knows, maybe there are more of my friends out there who are dealing with the same weird stuff (if so can we please discuss our stresses and stress relief techniques over coffee sometime and be real-life friends because that would be totes fab.) My hope is that this small mental-barf that just occurred all over this page will contribute to the discussion that has been happening lately about depression and anxiety. It's a subject I feel we need to bring up more often so we can help each other out, because to me, that's what life is about.

Hashtag rhyme.

Hashtag mic drop.

Y'all are peaches.

Dyl

ZERO RESOLUTIONS 2015

 You heard it here first ladies and gents,

I don't believe in resolutions. 

Maybe it's because when I try to set them, they end up something along the lines of:

"Go to the gym, like, 8x a week."
"Become a vegan."
"Eat no sugar ever."
"Become a professional college blogger."
"Cook semi-real food."

And my personal favorite:
"Be more granola."

I kid you not these are actual resolutions from previous years. 

I don't think I really understood how to make successful goals for myself... with like a plan...

But whatever. I still don't believe in them. 

I don't believe in completely starting over just because it's a new year. 

To me it's setting myself up for disappointment. Extremely equivalent to a jerk opening a giant box of office supplies in front of my face and telling me I can't have any, not even an eraser, to accidentally buying gluten-full cookies that you thought were gluten-free, or worse, ordering a grande skinny vanilla late with soy milk that ends up NOT BEING SOY. 

I'M TALKING REAL DISAPPOINTMENT PEOPLE.  

I think it's my personality that hates them because I tend to be a perfectionist. 

SURPRISE I KNOW. 

I have a hard time asking for help, going to the gym consistently, and not eating sugar. I get waaaaaay too stressed over silly things (just ask my mom) and don't spend my money wisely. I'm a pinterestaholic who love love looooooves coffee. I wan't a little black kitten. (Okay, that's not so much an imperfection as it is a fact. Just thought you should know I want one.)

Now to all my fans, I know I know, you are surprised I am human. I get it. But it's time you heard the truth. 

Bring it in everyone. Let's hug it out.

I think more important than resolutions are reminders. 

Reminders to remind me that:

1. Life can be hard, but you'll get through it. 
2. You are doing your best. 
3. You shouldn't be so hard on yourself.
4. You can handle anything anyone or situation throws at you because you are a bad ass. 

With these there is zero pressure, and a huge opportunity for growth. 

Which is what I need because I'm a recovering stress case. 

*can I get an amen emoji here*

Maybe resolutions work for you, and more power to you. 

You gotta do you baby. 

But if I can help one person, even if it's just myself, learn to take things as they come and be patient, I think I've done my non-official job. Because I officially work at a pizza place and I don't think self-betterment is on the menu.

Hope your new year is off to a great start. Because guess what?

You deserve it. 

Peace and blessings peaches.

Dylan

Christmas Time!

Hello loves! 

Christmas is coming soon and I may be biased, but I think that a watercolor portrait would be a fabulous idea!

Because who doesn't like having watercolor portraits of themselves to cherish and pass down to future generations? Just saying.

I recently had the opportunity to paint my fabulous photographer friend Sophie and her family, and can I just say that they are some of my most favorite ones to date? I would highly recommend checking out her website. You'll understand why I loved painting for her so much.  

Like seriously.

I am in love. 

So as I was saying before, if you also think watercolor portraits make good Christmas gifts, head over to my Etsy Shop and place an order under commission. 

I also want to say a quick thank you to all of the fabulous people in my life who basically support me in everything I do, wether it be Insta posts or my artwork.

You are the true peaches.

xoxo

TUESDAY

If you are anything like me, you have a serious case of the Tuesday Screwits, whether it be you being positive your phone will never be fixed, or you being dead tired, or your cat having an asthma attack. 

So here is a little musical fusion if you will, to give your afternoon a little pick-me-up. 

I think I'll call it TUESDAY. 

Ya dig?

If this doesn't do the trick, just remember, 

Word up.

xoxo

Staycay with Bai 2k...14

You heard it here first folks, Staycay with Bai 2k...14 was a SUCCESS.

We made a pact to make Fall Break a hoot and a half, specifically because we were staying in town. 

So we made a list.

Because that's what we do. 

And it ended up looking like this: 

Pay no mind to today's date... awkward. 

Walk in the funky alleys was my idea, just FYI.

Anyways, adventures included, but were not limited to:

 1. Eating waffles.

2. Chatting with some 8th graders in a parking garage (not a drug deal, promise.)

Aliases for Fall Break

3. Exploring Enoch... yeahhh. 
4. Chillin at the city 'brary and enjoying completely real Native American artifacts. They're really real. 

Cedar's Native American Rock Paintings. They're real. 

ERMAGERD BERKS

5. Gettin' our read on at The Grind.

Which then turned into:

6. Going to St. George.
7. Running through sprinklers at 11 pm.
8. Making Peanut Butter Cap'n Crunch Rice Krispies. (UM YUM.)
9. Hangin at Grams and Gramps storage unit.
10. Trying on thousands of Lindy's hats. 
11. Organizing our lives. 

And then progressed in an upwards fashion to:

12. OOTD'S OBVIII

WHAT THE HELL IS AN OOOHTID. 

13. Discovering thee most simple and delicious way to make Pumpkin Chocolate Chip cookies. 

Do ya got a Bai? Or nah?

14. Late afternoon strolls around the city, only to end up at the University. 

Campus is aight.

15. And designing. LOTS and LOTS of designing. 

I think you could say Fall Break was pretty dece. 

AMIRITE BAI.

Hope you had a good break too. 

Y'all are peaches!
Dylan

SLC 2014

HELLO.

and welcome! 

To Dylan Lowe's love story with Salt Lake.

*heart eye emoji x 10000 here*

I had no idea how cool Salt Lake was until last week and I have lived there my whole life.

Like doubleyew-tee-eff.

I traveled up north with some fellow Graphic Design students to check out design firms and studios as part of SLC Design Week, and if I didn't think heaven existed before, I sure do now. 

Let's just start with the fact that I drove around Downtown in Utah's version of a Double Decker tour bus for three and a half hours with a bunch of hipsters. 

#UHHUH

Selfie. Obvi.

THE crew.

We checked out a dozen different studios including Super Top Secret, Struck, and MRM//McCann just to name a few. I wish I would have taken photos, but I honestly was too amazed with what I was seeing to even think about taking photos. I only took like three snapchats.

I KNOW. 

SORRY.

I WAS LIVING IN THE MOMENT OK. 

Eating all the weird hipster food, collecting business cards and stickers, and conversing with drunk comrades.

I even got to eat gluten-free pasta! 

SAY WHAT!

I know. I know.

It was seriously the most fun thing I have done in like... two months. 

Homies on HOMIES

This quick lil' trip solidified the fact that I am doing exactly what I should be, and got me super stoked for my graphic design career. 

Guess I'll graduate after all...

WOOF.

SLC 2016 BABY.

Here I come. 

xoxo

Dylan

WOOF

So little time, so many things to catch up on.

Which is why I think that I thought wearing leggings as pants today was acceptable...

I mean they are the classy kind with wool on the inside to keep your legs warm, so I mean they have that going for them. 

#lifedecisions amirite?

Whatever. 

This morning was super productive which came as a shock to me and probably anyone that knows me. 

Mornings are NOT my thing. 

Ask my family. They dare each other to wake me up in the morning when I'm home because I'm a freakin' bear before 10 o'clock AM and that's a fact. I could strike fear in the heart of Genghis Khan if he was still alive and lived in America... yep.

But not this morning (!) thanks to my new IV infusions I get every-so-often. I awake the next morning metamorphosed into a beautiful productive butterfly. It's wonderful. I went to the gym, got myself a coffee, ate SALAD, washed my sheets, took a shower, got my hair trimmed, scored some free concert posters, and did everything except my homework.

Which is obviously why I'm writing this because the last thing that sounds fun right now is studying Roman and Indian art and recreating a master drawing. (jk it's supes fun... ahem*)

Soooooo I guess I could share with you some pictures of my life and my info about my new-ish relationship.

Yep you heard it right

I'm dating.

Dating MYSELF. 

And it's actually way fun... #isthatweird?

I paint and find cool music:

Buy myself flowers:

Third-wheel it and go see AMAZING concerts:

 Buy myself coffee:

And buy myself even more flowers!

Basically I'm perfect for myself!

To all my haterz, it's whatevz. 

I have had so much more time to be creative, read, exercise, find cool music, and just have Dyl time that I haven't had time to worry about you. In a lot of ways I'm a lot happier and I'm not just saying that you naysayer who just said, "You're just saying that!" But there's obviously some work there to do. 

You've probably read thousands of posts like this about "Living in a Utah: Where Everyone Gets Married as Infants" and "OMG I WANT A BOYFRIEND, The Tale of Desperate White Girl," but I don't fall into either of those categories in that in all honesty, I don't know what I want. 

It's a weird "not-quite, not-yet" stage and I'm trying to turn the awkwardness of not knowing where I belong or what I should be doing into something positive. 

So, I'm painting when I feel like it, going to concerts I've been wanting to see forever, buying myself coffee and flowers, and straight chillin' with Dylan. (BOOM)

I'll be real here and say that this semester started a little rocky. Things didn't quite work out how I thought they would in lots of ways and I've felt alone more often than not.  

I'm realizing though that focusing on the negative parts isn't going to do me JACK SQUAT. 

SURPRISE! 

I know, I was just as shocked as you. 

Therefore:

I'm attempting to do this thing called "Move Forward." 

Maybe you've heard of it? 

I've read some studies, and scientologists--I mean scientists, say it's a real thing that you can do, so I figure I'll give it a shot. 

No doubt there will be some difficult days, there is ZERO question about that. I think it will be all about patience and having some understanding for myself. 

So here's to some self-deprication! 

I MEAN SELF-APPRECIATION. 

I'M WAY GOOD AT THIS.

IT'S FINE.

In your best Sarah Mclachlan pets are dying voice: 

If you would like to donate to the positive vibe jar, you can do so on the right.
Any and all donations are appreciated and accepted at this time (because as you can see, it's gonna take some work.) 

Y'all are peaches. 

xoxo